Embracing the Cross

Christmas time is here. I have always loved Christmas time, but somehow these past several Christmas's haven't quite been the same as they were when I was 5. At that time all I had on my mind was snow and Christmas cookies...and opening gifts. A lot of things have changed in the past few years, and Christmas time doesn't seem to be a happy care-free time. At least...not as much as it was.

For some reason I have been sad these past couple of days. Leaving my grandparents this morning to drive back home was more difficult than it has been in a while. When I was little my mom and I would drive away from Mimi and Daddy Bob's house and tears would be streaming down my face. I think that feeling remains in me to this day, but I control it. This time I didn't cry but I had this overwhelming sadness as I left...for several reasons. But one is that I feel like I'm growing up and I'll never get those years back of when I was little and went to my grandparents house and didn't want to come home. At that age I had already planned to move to Kentucky and live with my grandparents. Ha... things change as you get older huh. I miss them already. They have been such an influence on my life and the Lord has been so good to me by allowing me to have them as my Mimi and Daddy Bob.

For what it's worth... Merry Christmas!

Anyways...those are my current feelings in the flesh. :)
On to Spiritual matters....

I have been reading this book called 100 Days in the Secret Place by Gene Edwards.

God knew that I needed to read this book. I don't really know why I chose to bring it with me to KY as my "book choice" for my time away. But I think HE did. It is an amazing book.

In a nutshell, this book is about "embracing the cross" of Christ. It deals with the issue of suffering. As Christians we are blinded to what suffering really is.

Often, when you suffer, it is the life of your self-nature that causes you pain. When you are dead you do not suffer. If you were completely dead to your old nature you would no longer feel many of the pains that now bother you. Endure the aches and pains of your body with patience. Do the same thing with your spiritual afflictions. Do not resist what God brings into your life. Be willing to suffer if that is what is needed. God prepares a cross for you that you must embrace with-out thought of self-preservation. The cross is painful. Accept the cross and you will find peace even in the middle of turmoil. Let me warn you that if you push the cross away, your circumstances will become twice as hard to bear. The hardest thing about suffering is not knowing how great it will be or how long it will last. You will be tempted to want to impose some limits to your suffering. Do you see the stubborn and hidden hold you have over your life? This control makes the cross necessary in the first place. Do not reject the full work that the power of the cross could accomplish in you. May the Lord deliver you from falling into an inner state in which the cross is not at work in you! God loves a cheerful giver. Imagine how much He must love those who abandon themselves to His will cheerfully and completely--even if it results in their crucifixion! Christ said, "If anyone will come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me." You do not see the lovely side of following Christ. You see what He takes away, but you do not see what He gives. You exaggerate the sacrifices and ignore the blessings. Paul says that you desire to be clothed, but it is necessary that you be stripped before you can put on Christ. Allow Him to strip your self-love of every covering so that you might recieve the white robe washed in the blood of the Lamb. You need only His purity. -Fenelon

The Lord desires to purify your soul, and He can use a very rough file. Yes, He may even assault the purer and nobler things of your life! These assaults serve as a revelation to awaken the human soul...for the soul to truly discover, to truly know, just how miserable is its natural state. God loves not the believer who does the most, nor who feels the most, nor who thinks the most cleverly and best, but He loves him who suffers the most. -Molinos

If your love for the Lord is pure, you will love Him as much on Calvary as on Mt. Tabor. The Lord dJesus loved His Father on Mt. Tabor where He was transfigured, but He loved Him no less on Calvary where He was crucified. You who have given yourself to the Lord during some pleasant season, please take note of this: If you gave youself to Him to be blessed and to be loved, you cannot suddenly turn around and take back your life at another season...when you are being crucified! You must learn to love the cross. The believer who loves the cross finds that even the bitterest things that come his way are sweet. "To the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet" (Proverbs 27:7b). How much do you desire to hunger after God? You will hunger after God, and find Him, in the same proportion that you hunger after the cross. Here is a true spiritual principle that the Lord will not deny: God gives us the cross, and then the cross gives us God.
What is the result of walking continually before God in a state of abandonment? The ultimate result is godliness. The more you possess God, the more you are made like Him. How then is godliness achieved? The Christian who has learned to be abandoned to Jesus Christ and who walks in a life of abandonment to Him, practices godliness in the highest degree. The Lord is very jealous over any saint who is utterly abandoned to Him. He does not let that believer have any pleasures at all outside of Himself. Do not forget that suffering is included in the experience of abandonment. It is the fire of suffering which will bring forth the gold of godliness.
Where does confession of sin and examination of your life concerning sin fit into the life of a Christian? It is commonly taught that self-examination is something that should always preced confession of sin. Though this may be correct, the manner of self-examination is dictated by the level of your Christian experience. When you come to the Lord concerning sin and confession, you do this: Lay your entire soul open before God. You can be sure that the Lord will not fail to enlighten you conerning your sin. Your Lord will shine as a light in you; and through His shinging, He will allow you to see the nature of all your faults. Depend upon your Lord, not on youself, to expose your sin and to show you the extent of your sin. It is not your dilligence, it is not your examination of youself that will enlighten you concerning your sin. Instead, it is God who does all the revealing. You see, if you try to be the one who does the examining, there is a very good chance that you will deceive youself. You will neveral really allow yourself to see your true state. That is the simple act about the nature of your own self-love. "We call the evil good, and the good evil (Isaiah 5:20). This is not so when you come to your Lord. He can be so thorough, so exacting, and so demanding! There, before Him, you aer in full exposure before the Sun of Righteousness. His divine beams make even your smallest faults visible. Once you have established a relationship with your Lord, you will soon discover that no fault in you escapes the reproof of God. All things are exposed uner the piercing glance of your Lord. He will not allow any sin to be hidden or concealed.
God wishes to make your soul pure. He purifies it by His Wisdom just as a refiner purifies metal in the furnace. Fire is the only thing which can purify gold. This fire gradually consumes all that is earthly; it takes out all foreign matter and separates these things from the gold. Over and over again, the gold must be cast into the furnace until it has lost every trace of pollution. Oh, how many times the gold is plunged back into the fire--far, far more times than seem necessary. There are two ways for the soul to be cleansed. The first is through affliction, anguish, distress, and inward torment (yikes!). The second is through the fire of a burning love, a love impatient and hungry. It is true that God uses both of these ways to deal with our souls. All revelation and insight into God, all true experiential knowledge of God, arises from suffering, which is the truest proof of love. The cleansing of the soul through tribulation is what produces patience. Within tribulation can come inflamed prayer. It is tribulation which annihilates and refines. It is that which takes the earthen and transforms it to the heavenly. Out of the human it brings forth the divine...transforming one and bringing it to the other, uniting them with the Lord. -Guyon

God, I want to give myself to you. Give me the courage to do this. My spirit within me sighs after you. Strengthen my will. Take me. If I don't have the strength to give you everything, then draw me by the sweetness of Your love. Lord, who do I belong to, if not to You? What a horror to belong to myself and to my passions! Help me to find all my happiness in You, for there is no happiness outside of You. Why am I afraid to break out of my chains? Do the things of this world mean more to me than You? Am I afraid to give myself to You? What a mistake1 It is not even I who would give myself to You but You who would give Yourself to me. Take my heart. What joy it is to be with You, to be quiet so that I might hear Your voice! Feed me and teach me out of Your depths. Oh God, You only make me love You. Why should I fear to give You everything and draw close to You? To be left to the world is more frightening than this! Your mercy can overcome any obstacle. I am unworthy of You, but I can become a miracle of Your grace.